Real Estate Marketing Euphemisms Translated

Real Estate Marketing Euphamisms Translated
Cartoon courtesy of Alistair Nisbit

While it may not be a widely known fact, Realtors have been known to use “creative language” to describe properties and their characteristics. Not shocked to hear this you say? Let’s delve into some examples of this phenomenon.

RealtorSpeak: Cozy!
Translation: Tiny. You may be able to touch two opposite walls with your body outstretched. You can always meet your friends at a cafe – who needs to entertain at home anyway?

RealtorSpeak: Needs TLC
Translation: Needs everything including paint, flooring and all appliances. Maybe even a new roof and perhaps a new foundation due to the large cracks in the existing one.

RealtorSpeak: Not a drive-by.
Translation: This thing looks atrocious from outside and we really need to get you inside to have any hope of you buying it. A late night showing would be preferable so you can’t see how awful the exterior is.

RealtorSpeak: Character house.
Translation: Most likely quirky and often run-down. It will help if you are keen on a very old structure and don’t mind drafts around windows and sloping floors.

RealtorSpeak: Fixer-upper!
Translation:  A tear-down and not worth doing any fixing. Please bring thick-soled, steel-toed boots for the showing. Overalls and possibly a gas mask will be beneficial.

There are hundreds more real estate marketing euphemisms not mentioned here. Please let us know if you have some good examples of your own in the comments below.